Content Nausea No. 100: Younger Us
Remember saying things like, "We'll sleep when we're dead" / And thinking this feeling was never gonna end
Welcome to the 100th edition of Content Nausea. You can read No. 99 right here. Please let me know what you think. Thank you for being here. Here is the welcome blog.
I can’t really believe that I’ve done 100 of these. When I started this newsletter in May 2019, I thought that Content Nausea would be a twice per week dispatch featuring a lengthy rumination on one topic or another every Wednesday and then scattered thoughts and recommendations every Saturday. It hasn’t really been that, though I’m trying to get back to basics in December 2022 to figure out once and for all whether that’s actually feasible and if I have that much to say. I’m not going to go back to read No. 1 to see if that’s the actual mission statement that I laid out.
At the time, I had recently subscribed to Welcome to Hell World and a couple other Substacks, and I started to map out a bit of a long game in my head. I could build up a routine and a readership, and then if/when the bottom inevitably fell out of my journalism job, then I could add another layer that I could ask for people to pay for, and I would have built up enough goodwill that at least some people would oblige. I could generate a tiny bit of supplemental cash for myself.
Things, of course, did not play out that way. The “inevitable” bottom falling out didn’t happen in the way that I thought it would, and when it did, I was caught flat-footed, and there was really nothing I could do about it. I also wasn’t in position to spin this into something that would put money in my pocket. And that’s fine.
Also, this seems easy, and it’s really not, even if I do one post per week that’s essentially a list of links. I didn’t quite expect the time and energy commitment, and that’s OK.
There are currently 64 of you who subscribe, and the most there have ever been was 65. I think that’s pretty cool, given that I haven’t promoted this outside of word-of-mouth or the occasional Instagram post since I started it however many months ago. I don’t check the metrics very often because that’s not something that I need to occupy my brain with.
Still, one of the best things to happen is to get an email reply from Eian or a text from Matt or a message from Joe or a stray comment when I see someone in person where they remark on Content Nausea or when someone brings up their namedrop or when someone checks in to make sure it’s still happening. Even as I was writing this up, Jamie asked me if I had shared links here from a writer who wrote something I sent him earlier. It’s a corny sentiment, but it means more than a large number of subscribers or a paying base could. When it gets down to it, I’m still vain enough — though it’s cloaked in plenty of insecurity — that I think what I have thoughts or recommendations that other people might be interested in.
There are a couple of the past 100 that stand out to me. There was a screenshot of a past Content Nausea camera roll that said No. 30 (Carly Rae Jepsen) was a good one. I’m partial to No. 49 (Emily in Paris), too. The most “real” I ever got was No. 63 (Benn). I did some real navel-gazing in No. 11 (Williamsburg nostalgia). I tried to get real in No. 13 (something about football), and I liked No. 86 (10K steps per day). The list of airports in No. 88 was good. It’s funny that it took me two months to write No. 87 (30 thoughts on turning 30). Oh yeah, No. 2 (surprise parties) was a fun one, too.
Are there any other good ones that come to mind? I’m trying to wrack my brain but I’m also listening to Neutral Milk Hotel and waiting for a gopuff delivery. I think there are some good pandemic-era ones in there (No. 18, No. 23 [the one about my fridges], No. 34, No. 38, No. 42 [Joyce Manor], No. 45). Content Nausea has been validated because I re-discovered this exquisite piece of March 2020 television while going through old posts:
Miss you, March 2020.
So what’s in store for the next 100 editions of Content Nausea? I can’t tell you. I think one thing (of many) that defined the first 100 was upheaval and disruption. I’ve moved three times since I’ve started writing this. A lot has happened. Every plan I’ve made has had to go by the wayside. Somehow, this has persisted through that.
If I have to be earnest or serious, though, I’ve written a lot about ‘blogging’ as a concept in this newsletter, and I hope that’s a spirit I can recapture in this space in the coming year. I was texting with Allison over the weekend about how my New Year’s resolutions (lol) were trending toward the general idea of just being more creative. For me, that covers a ton of ground, from writing to creative writing to music to photography to reading more. There’s a lot I’m trying to do in the hopes of dislodging my brain from the rut it’s been stuck in for a couple years now. So hopefully I can do that in this space. As much as I want to, I’m not sure I can bring back the 2009-12 style of posting on Tumblr that was probably the platonic ideal of posting, but I want to build on that ethos here.
Thank you for being along for the ride.
Thank you for reading the 100th edition of Content Nausea. It will get better. Thank you, and see you soon.
Gimme that naked new skin rush
Give me younger us
Gimme that you and me in a grave trust
Give me younger us
Gimme that girls learning love, wild and free
Give me younger us
Gimme my boys and I swimmin' through the streets
Give me younger us
Gimme that night you were already in bed, said "fuck it"
Got up to drink with me instead
—D.G.